Have you ever felt very proud of yourself. Will I have. Here is a story of one time that I felt very proud of my self.
One day, my third grade teacher named Mr. Burke said we were going to build a bird house. Let me explain to you how Mr. Burke looks like. Mr. Burke always has a tie on his shirt. He is very nice when you get to know him. Mr. Burke is also a very very good teacher. When Mr. Burke told us that we were going to build birdhouses, I was super excited!! It took us about two days to build the birdhouses.
Finally we were done. A boy asked if we would paint the bird houses. Mr. Burke, said “no”. He said no, because he said if you paint the bird houses the birds will not go in the bird house, because the birds won’t feel safe. We didn’t paint the bird houses.
At the end of the day, we took the bird houses home. I put mine in a bag. On the bus everyone was telling me what was in the bag. I said a bird house was in the bag. They didn’t believe me. So I showed them. Then, they believed me. When I got home, I told everyone in my family what I build, but I didn’t tell my dad.
The next day, was Father’s Day. So for my dad I gave him the bird house I made. My dad was so proud of me. So was I! That is the end of the story, and that is also one time I felt very proud of myself.
Point: You've written a great story that kept me interested right until the end. It was easy to follow with your different paragraphs and you definitely left me in suspense when you wrote that you didn't show your dad your birdhouse: "When I got home, I told everyone in my family what I build, but I didn’t tell my dad."
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Have you ever built anything else before? How come you were so excited to build a birdhouse?
Abbey
Point: Hello Lucia. I couldn't help but smile as I read your piece. It is very sweet of you to surprise your dad and give him the bird cage you painstakingly made as a gift to him for Father's Day. I am sure, it isn't just your dad who is very proud of you but all the members of your family too.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Where did your dad place the bird cage? Is there a bird living in it now?
Hi Lucia,
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job at giving details about everything that happened before you gave your dad the bird house you made. For example, you talked about your teacher and you told us what he looks like. You also told us what happened when you were on the bus with the birdhouse.
My question is: What do you think it means to be proud? And do you think your dad was proud of different reasons than you or the same reasons as you?
Monique