If I could go any where I would go to many places.
First, I would go to New York. Then I would go to France. Next I would go to France. Next I would go to Paris. Finally, I would go to Mexico.
I would go to New York Because I would have to pay for stuff.When I’m on my way I will see the Statue of Liberty. Also I would see all the Bright lights. I want to go there Because I dreamed all my life of going to New York.
I would also go to Paris Because it’s lovely and fancy. It would be fun to go there.
Point: I really like how you selected three very different places to places to visit. It was interesting to hear how you've "dreamed" of "going to New York"
ReplyDeleteQuestion: I'd like to know more about what you mean when you say you have to "pay for stuff" in New York. Also, I'd love to hear you describe the "lovely" and "fancy" things in Paris that you would enjoy.
Point: I like your description of Paris as "lovely and fancy." I also like your description of New York and its "bright lights." These are very descriptive phrases.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Can you give us similar descriptions of Mexico so we know why you want to go there?
Point: I like that you are interested in travel to different places in the world.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Can you please be more descriptive of what you mean by the below sentence? "I would go to New York Because I would have to pay for stuff."
I would also like to see more complete sentences.
Chelle
Point: I like that you have an interest in travelling to new places. I also liked the fact that you described New York as a place with "bright lights".
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Why is it important for you, "to pay for stuff"?
Point: It is important for you to re-read your work. There were times when you repeated yourself.