When
we parked our car, I was nervous. Today was my first day of ski school. I
walked into the ski lodge, there was so many people. My mom and dad came with
me, when we were going out of the ski lodge it was hard to walk in my ski boots
because the front of my boot was higher than the back.
The
first thing I learned was how to stop, the second thing I learned was how to to
turn, and the third thing I learned was how to ride the lift chairs. At 11:30
we went to the ski lodge to have lunch; I got pizza and root beer.
My
favorite part was the last run down the bunny hill, we got to do whatever we
wanted on the last run.
You did a great job providing details. I felt like I was right there with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteGood use of timiing as well. It is important to not only provide details, but you want to make sure you are not taking away from the overall goal of the story.
Keep up the good work :)
Alma,
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has never skied before, you sure made it sound like so much fun.
I appreciate that you started by saying how nervous you were. I think you did a very good job of describing the steps one would use when learning to ski.
I hope the pizza and root beer were good!
Very good "first time" story. Well done.
Good story! I would try to use the word "and" instead of commas when you are putting 2 ideas in the same sentence. "I walked into the ski lodge AND there were so many people." You could also try making 2 sentences. "My favorite part was the last run down the bunny hill. We got to do whatever we wanted on the last run."
ReplyDelete