Adelle
“My first soccer game”
“Go get your jersey and your other gear on for the game,”
dad yells.
I’m all ready doing that,” I lied. It was Sunday; I was
just about to go to my first soccer game against another team. Just then mom
walked into the house.
“How’s my little soccer player?” She asked.
Like I was going to answer that. So instead I said, “Oh,
mom I didn’t hear you walk in.” The worlds just rushed out of my mouth before I
could stop them.
Then I muttered to
my dad, “Of course I heard her walk in
she is always stomping around every place she goes.” He laughed silently but
just had to laugh out loud. Mom heard but ignored us.
About 20 minutes later. I was slumping out to the car. My
heart was pounding like I was running in the Olympics. It was happening, my
first soccer game! When we got to Fernhill (my teams home field) my coach was
waiting for us and everybody else to arrive. Then we got in a group and made
sure our cleats were tied. We didn’t have any hair things besides headbands and
hair ties, we had our shin guards on, and our shorts. I love my teammates, my
coach and referee, they really encourage me but I was still scared. We lined up
and the whistle blew, before I knew it my teammates (including me) were running
around scoring goals. I didn’t score any goals but it was still fun, and since
it was fun we weren’t thinking so we won
the game. It was the first time fell down but my teammate tripped over me. Oh,
and I didn’t say the name of the team. It’s Galaxy Girls. I scored two goals
three games later. I was so happy and proud. If you play soccer you know how it
feels.
To: Adelle
ReplyDeleteFrom: Ian
You write with a lot of personality. This is very expressive! You still get the information across, stating enough facts to communicate the events of the day. Rather than list what happened, you give the reader a peek inside your head by telling us what you're thinking and feeling at the same time.
If this wasn't a creative writing assignment, I'd encourage you to be a little kinder to your mother... it has been said that you should always try to leave your loved ones with kind words since anything could happen afterward. Still, that's just a matter of personal opinion.
Thank you for sharing this story with everyone. I hope you'll pursue writing because you seem to have a natural talent for it.
I agree with Ian's comments. You did a wonderful job making me feel like I was right there with you!
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow soccer-lover, I could really relate with your story! Best of luck as you continue playing soccer... and writing. :)
i like how you described things.
ReplyDeletefrom alma