When
ice skated for the first time I was 3 years old. I felt very sleepy when I woke
up. When me and my family went to Lloyd center, I felt (skipped). Me on by
myself improved 55% ice skating in 2 ½ hours. When I went home I had a good
memory doing a good job skating.
My
sister Dona was 12 years old at the time I ice skated. Dona was a very good ice
skater, since Dona was so good I’d give her a 20 a skating. Me, dad, sister and
mom came with me on my first lap, I said to myself I will not give up today!
And a few minutes later I got the hands of skating and I remember the time I
was good at that sport!
Max,
ReplyDeleteWe like ice skating at Lloyd center.
From,
Elena and Lily
It sounds like you improved quite a bit. How did you know how much you had improved? Also, 3 is very young to be skating. I'm impressed!
ReplyDeleteYou will want to read the third and fourth sentences out loud. It seems like there are some missing words and putting those in would help your story to make more sense. I think I would put the part about your sister either more towards the beginning or end of the story. Having it in the middle seems like you are getting off of the subject.
I liked how you described how determined you were to learn to skate. You might want to describe how it made you feel after you got the hang of it.
Max
ReplyDeleteI like your picture of yourself as a determined 3 year old who was not going to give up.
I wonder if you are still that kind of person, and what other things you have learned to do with the determination not to give up on a new thing that is hard and scary.
Crossing Rebecca