The first time I learned how to sew was at my grandma’s
house. I was excited because I wanted to know how to sew. My grandma let me add
on to a towel, she doesn’t use.
She showed me a few different ways that you can sew. I
enjoyed learning how to sew. I used a needle and thread to add on, I don’t know
how to sew something from scratch but I do know how to add on to something. My
grandma helped me at first but after a little practice, I could do it on my
own.
Olivia great job with your first blog! I like that you blogged about a moment with your grandmother that you will likely remember forever. My suggestion to you would be to work on your comma placement and grammar. You have great style in that I feel like I can hear you telling me the story firsthand.
ReplyDelete-Cassie
Great story of progress, Olivia! It was neat to read how you started at one point and were able to progress your skills with the help of your grandma.
ReplyDeleteI'd also encourage you to share more about any feelings you had throughout the experience. Were you scared? Excited?
Nice story!
Your pride at learning something new shines through this story. Try for a little more variety in your sentence structure and word choices, and maybe some dialogue. For instance, you could make your introduction a little livelier if you began with something like: One day when I went to visit my gradmother house, she greeted me by saying "How would you like to learn to sew today?" Your last sentence is your best because it has a more complex structure. Read it out loud and then read one of your other sentences out loud, and listen to how much more smoothly it flows, almost musically.
ReplyDeleteOlivia, I like to sew too! I really like how you gave the example of the towel. Knowing what you were sewing on helped me imagine what it looked like. What did you sew the first time? A flower? A line around the edge?
ReplyDeleteI like your story!
That's so great! Good for you! I wish I could sew, but unfortunately I never learned. It comes in handy when you get older! Keep it up, and keep up the great writing!
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother and I sewed, too, so I liked your story a lot. By decorating your clothes with sewing, you will have a unique wardrobe.
ReplyDeleteYou are using commas, which are important punctuation marks. The last one is in exactly the right place. In the first paragraph, you do not need a comma. In the second paragraph, your story will be easier to understand if you use a period instead of a comma after "on."
Olivia, your story made me want to go home & work on my own sewing project! I liked how you showed the learning process, starting with adding on, practicing, and then being able to do it on your own.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to know what you added on to the towel -- a button or bead? or maybe some colorful thread?
I think there's a comma you don't need in your third sentence. In your second paragraph, I think your third sentence would be better as two separate sentences.
Hi Olivia
ReplyDeleteI like your story, especially since my grandma taught me how to sew as well. When a person is able to find something in your story that happened in their life too, it makes it even more interesting for them, so your story did that really well for me. It will probably feel special for anyone who learnt something good from their grandma.