Elena
“Moving Houses”
People:
Mom, dad, sister, son grandma, and grandpa.
Narator:
There was a family that was moving houses there, grandma and grandpa helped.
They had to leave the next day.
Dad:
Can someone help move te couch?
Grandpa:
I can help you son.
Grandma:
The children and I, are packing up their stuff in the boxes.
Dad:
Good job Granpa and I will move the couch near the door.
Mom:
I am packing up the pots and pans.
Dad:
Can I help someone?
Mom:
Yes you can get more boxes from the basement.
Sister:
What can I do? That will be easy.
Mom:
You can put were it will be like put: kitchen for pots and pans.
Sister:
Ok that will be easy.
Brother:
Mom can I help sister?
Mom:
Yes of course son I know you can listen to the rules.
Grandpa:
I will help the children.
Grandma:
Me too.
Dad:
Here I got the boxes.
Mom:
Good now pack something up.
Dad:
I am going to pack all our stuff.
Mom:
Good now get started dad.
Grandma:
I will start dinner.
Mom:
I will get all the boxes that are full to the door.
Grandma:
Dinner time!
All:
Ok!
Narrator:
After there were finished grandma called.
Grandma:
Bed time children, tommorow we will do the rest.
Narrator:
Everybody was asleep until the next day.
Dad:
Wake up we are in a rush.
All:
Yes.
Truck
man: I will help you get all this stuff in my truck.
All:
Ok!
Narrator:
After they put all in the truck.
Dad:
I will go with the truck, mom and you will take the car, deal?
All:
Deal.
Narrator:
They all arrived at the house.
Truck
man: I will help you get all these stuff were it needs to be.
All:
Ok.
Narrator:
They were all working, except the children because it was too heavy. The
children watched at the window until they fell asleep. When the truck was
empty, Mom and Dad picked up the children and put them to bed.
“The End”
Hi Elena,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing that narrative. It brought back memories of moving with my family when I was about your age.
Good work putting everything in a nice order. The narrative was easy to understand and clear, which is super important for good writing! I also really liked the last part, when the kids fell asleep watching the adults move the boxes. It was an excellent example of narration.
Be careful with commas and spelling; there were a few typos. I like to read my papers out loud when I finish writing to catch my typos. You can try that if you want.
Have fun at school!