Don't scare the babysitter!
A story dictated by Mateo.
Mommy and Mama lion were going to the watering hole to get some water. "Little cub, your favorite babysitter is coming, Melanie. Be good!"
Scott was very excited. Scott and Melody loved it when their babysitter Melanie came to watch them. But when Scott became too excited he tended to ROAR (because that's what lions do), and scare the other animals.
"Hey! Let's go to the park," said Melanie.
"OK," said Scott and Melody.
"We need to get on your paw shoes."
"Help me."
"Try again!"
"Will you please put on my paw shoes?"
Melanie put Scott and Melody in the cub car seat and they drove to the park. They got on the swings. They went high on the swings. Scott got so excited that "ROOOOOOAAAAAR!" All of the other animals ran away from the park.
"AHHHHH"
"Scott, I think we should go somewhere else. Let's go to playdate PDX. This time let's use an inside voice so you don't scare everyone."
They got in the cub car seat. They drove carefully to playdate PDX. Melanie paid the tickets and they both got stamps on their paws."
Melanie and Melody climbed up to the big green slide. They slid down together. Melanie and Scott held paws and slid down the big slide. Scott got so excited that, "RROOOOOAAAAARRRR."
Everyone very quickly ran out of playdate PDX.
Melanie took them out of playdate PDX and drove them home. When they got inside, Melanie said, "I think that's enough scaring for today. I think it's about bed time for both of you."
"I don't want to go to bed," said Melody.
"I don't want to go to bed. I just want to drink juice all night," said Scott.
"I don't think that's a very good idea," said Melanie, "It's bed time. Now."
Scott and Melody got in their beds. "I'm not tired," said Scott, as his eyes started to look sleepy. Soon he fell asleep.
He started to dream. He was in Egypt. "Oh look," he said, "Camels! I've always wanted to see camels. RRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR."
"AAAAHHHH," said Melanie. She ran and hid in the closet. Her paws and all of her were shaking.
Soon, his Mommy and Mama came home from the watering hole. "Were you good for the babysitter?"
"Yes," said Scott, looking at his paws.
"Where is the babysitter?"
"I don't know."
"Did you scare the babysitter away? You're not supposed to scare the babysitter."
"Here I am," said Melanie. I wasn't scared, just a little startled. Scott and Melody were good little cubs.
This is a very cute story :) There's a lot of dialogue. There's many parts I like but just to name one, it would be when Scott says " I don't want to go to bed. I want to drink juice all night. " I think that really interpretes how a kid or cub thinks. Good luck with your writing !
ReplyDeleteYour story was very descriptive. I loved your sentence," Melanie put Scott and Melody in the cub car seat and they drove to the park." That was great because a cub seat is creative and it is promoting safety, which I endorse. And I must say, I also loved your sentence where you tell him to put on his paw shoes. Your story paints a picture so that I visualize what is happening. I look forward to more.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: What happens next?
Becki
Mateo seems to be a very important part in your life. A very happy kid who likes lions.
ReplyDeleteBen
I relly loved that story it was great and you must love lions.:)
ReplyDelete-karla
This is a great story! It is imaginative and fun to read. I like how descriptive you were because it makes it easy for us to picture everything that is going on. Great work!
ReplyDeleteGreat story Mateo.:) Loved the part where you
ReplyDeletesaid they went to playdate PDX.
Jacy :)
This is a fantastic story, Mateo! I am so glad you posted it. I can't wait for your next post. It doesn't have to be a story, though. It could be about anything.
ReplyDeleteThe image of the lion cubs riding in their "cub car seats" is excellent. What an imagination you have!
Keep up the good work.
David
Hi Mateo
ReplyDeletePoint: I really liked that your story had a theme. I thought it was excellent that you introduced the theme at the beginning with this sentence: "But when Scott became too excited he tended to ROAR (because that's what lions do), and scare the other animals."
Then you went on to expand the theme by giving examples in the main body of the story of situations in which Scott roared because he was excited and did in fact scare the other animals. You did that in these sentences for example:
1. "Scott got so excited that "ROOOOOOAAAAAR!" All of the other animals ran away from the park.
"AHHHHH""
2. "Scott got so excited that, "RROOOOOAAAAARRRR." Everyone very quickly ran out of playdate PDX."
Finally, you brought the story to a lovely ending when Mommy and Mama lion came home.
Question: Have you seen a lion? What do lions look like? What color are they? What do lions like to eat? How fast can lions run?
Keep up the good work in your story telling!
All the best
Karen
Mateo,
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your story.you're a great writer.
From, Patrick