“Easter Bunny”
The fluffy white bunny hopped to deliver some Easter eggs to the nice kids. Unfortunately the fluffy white bunny couldn’t find the house where the kids live. The fluffy white bunny said,“What I am going to do?” she asked herself.
The solution is that she went to the gas station to find a map. The fluffy white bunny asked the manager if there were any maps.
“Yes we do have maps.” The manager said.
“Oh thank you very much!” the fluffy white bunny said.
Then the fluffy white bunny left to find green house. So the bunny started to hop to find the green house. Finally the fluffy white bunny found the green house. So the bunny gave the Easter eggs to the nice kids.
“The end”
Hi Cindi, this is a great piece of writing - you have summarized a problem and have also solved it. Can you add something to the beginning about the kids living in a Green house? How did the bunny know that the nice kids lived in a green house? Also, when the bunny gave the Easter eggs, how did the kids react?
ReplyDeleteCindi, You wrote a happy (hoppy) story. I like your use of descriptive words, like fluffy and white. I also like your use of conversation, and you used the quotation marks correctly. I suggest you add why the bunny thought the kids were nice. Maybe you could replace the word nice with helpful or another word that gives the idea of why the kids deserved Easter eggs.
ReplyDeletePoint: I like that you described a conversation between the bunny and the gas station manager, "Yes we do have maps.” The manager said. “Oh thank you very much!” the fluffy white bunny said.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: I would like to know more about the eggs. How many eggs does the bunny have and what color are the eggs?
Cindy A