Thursday, April 26, 2012

Parker


Parker
    Alex the porcupine was so excited. He was having his favorite babysitter over tonight. It was his parent’s anniversary. They were going to a garden to eat plants. Alex though, has a little problem. When he gets excited, then he tingles. Then he starts to spike up. This is quite an unfortunate habit.
    “It’s time for dinner.” Stanley said.
    “What are we having Stanley?” Alex asked.
    “Food to go,” Stanley replied while bringing in the food.
     “Yay!” Alex said.
    He got excited and started to spike up with food all over his spikes. Stanley stared at Alex.
    “Your spikes are all dirty.” Stanley said.
    “Can I have a bubble bath?” Alex asked.
    “Okay but you have to promise to not splash,” Stanley replied.
    “I promise not to splash.” Alex said.
    “Let’s get in the bath then,” Stanley said.
    They got in the bath and Alex was very good, except he spiked up leaving a big hole in the bath.
    “Well you wrecked the bath so let’s go to bed,” Stanley said as Alex was tucked in.
    “No I’m not tired at all.” Alex exclaimed while yawning.
    “Sweet dreams Alex,” Stanley said as he shuts the door and turned off the light.
   

    Soon Alex dreamed about his favorite movie and Slice went his TV. He dreamed about a big leaf and slice went his bed. He dreamed about a big chocolate bar and Slice went his dresser. He dreamed of a giant plant and right at that moment his mom and dad got home while Alex woke up.
    “Where’s Stanley?” His parents asked.
    “Here I am, Alex has been very good tonight.” Stanley said.
     Not even mentioning his bath, food, bed, TV and the dresser.

6 comments:

  1. Stanley sure was a good babysitter to not mention Alex's problems that night; I hope he doesn't get into trouble for leaving a hole in the bath! Do you think Alex will learn to control his excitement so he stops spiking everything?


    Teresa D

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    1. yeah he probobly will.

      parker g

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  2. I love your writing, Parker. Your first paragraph is especially good. You get the reader interested in what is going to happen next by mentioning Alex's unique problem. You give really fun details like that his parents are going out to eat plants for their anniversary. I like the expression you came up with, "spike up." You made porcupine characters feel very natural and real. It's very funny (and too bad for Alex) that even in his dreams when he gets excited he slices his bed. A very entertaining story!

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  3. Good story, Parker. I know that Alex didn't mean to spike up. But, even so, I have to say that Stanley must be a very patient babysitter!

    -- Peter

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  4. You've written a good story, Parker. Stanely's babysitter, Alex, seems to take really good care of him. Do Stanely's parents teach him how to prevent himself from spiking up?

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  5. This is a very well written little story. I love that you never forget your character is an animal and give him porcupine problems! The quotations were used very well.

    If you decide to keep working on this story, you might think about how to resolve the problem of Alex spiking up. If that is your story's problem, then you want to resolve the problem.

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