I have two favorite fruits. Pineapple is one of my favorite fruits. I eat pineapple quickly because it’s so good. Another fruit is mango is very sweet. I love pineapple and mango.
I like what you wrote about - I think you could add more description why you like Pineapples. "Another fruit is mango is very sweet is putting two sentences into one. For example, Another fruit is mango that I like/love - may say because it is very sweet or put it in another sentence.
I see that you have a topic sentence followed with supporting sentences, then with a conclusion sentence. Good!!! I like how simple your writing is, but it just needs a few more adjectives for the reader to really understand why YOU love the fruit.
Point: I like that you wrote about two of your favorite things to eat and then explained why. I also like the way you described the sweetness of the mango!
Question: Is pineapple also sweet? Do you also eat mango quickly?
You could enhance the writing a little bit more by putting your last sentence in the front and making it your second sentence that gives detail to the topic sentence. "I love pineapple and mango."
I like what you wrote about - I think you could add more description why you like Pineapples. "Another fruit is mango is very sweet is putting two sentences into one. For example, Another fruit is mango that I like/love - may say because it is very sweet or put it in another sentence.
ReplyDeleteI see that you have a topic sentence followed with supporting sentences, then with a conclusion sentence. Good!!! I like how simple your writing is, but it just needs a few more adjectives for the reader to really understand why YOU love the fruit.
Point: I like that you wrote about two of your favorite things to eat and then explained why. I also like the way you described the sweetness of the mango!
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Is pineapple also sweet? Do you also eat mango quickly?
Cindy A.
I also love mangoes and pineapples! :)
ReplyDeleteYou could enhance the writing a little bit more by putting your last sentence in the front and making it your second sentence that gives detail to the topic sentence. "I love pineapple and mango."
How many types of mangoes have you tried?
Keep it up!
Hena