One day MarQuis and ChaQuinn went
to the desert. They also took their dog Sasha. Sasha’s color is black and tan.
They were
hiking in the dry desert. We see cactus that are green and not that many.
After a while
we got thirsty. We stopped and got snacks and water. I see a snake. It’s green.
Its tongue is like a fork the color is brown.
The snake is
rattling. It’s tired and slithering to a cactus to have some shade.
Sasha runs
after the snake. It sees it from the corner of its eye. It turns its head, opens
its mouth, gets a little bit closer, closes its mouth on Sasha’s neck. Now
Sasha is very hurt.
ChaQuinn is
worried that Sasha is not going to be okay. Sometimes Sasha will start
twitching.
I tried to
catch the snake. Then it bit me. Ouch! “Are you okay?” ChaQuinn asked. Then she
dragged me the whole way.
Finally we
seen a guy. ChaQuinn asked “Can I get some water?” Then he drove off. I woke up
but I couldn’t walk so I crawled.
Finally a
helicopter saw us. They dropped the ladder. When we got up we got water. They
took me and Sasha to the doctors to get cured. After we got cured we never went
to the desert again.
WOW - that was an exciting story!! I liked your use of the descriptive action verbs like slithered and twitched.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you ever have visited a real desert?
You did an excellent job in making an exciting story.
Mom/Catherine
You did a great job describing the scenery in the desert. You also kept me wondering what was going to happen to Sasha. How were you going to get your dog help? Great beginning, middle, and liked the resolve in the end. A very happy ending for everyone and the dog. Good story.
ReplyDeleteMarQuis
ReplyDeleteI liked your story.Was Sasha feeling better after the next day? How many snakes were there? Did the guy look very mean?Did you ever get any water? I like the ways you think.
Have a nice summer
Lexi