Monday, March 2, 2015

Eliza

Troy was walking his dog while his sister changed the flat tire with the spare tire.  Troy was taking the dog near a stream.  Then the dog saw a squirrel.  The squirrel ran up a tree.  The dog ran after it and Troy let go of the leash.  The dog fell into the stream on an accident.  Troy ran and got his sister.  She used a tire and tied a rope on the tire.  She threw the tire into the Water.  The dog put his paws on the tire.  Troy’s sister pulled it out of the river.  Everyone was safe.
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10 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 10, 2015 at 11:54 AM

    Point: I really love how detailed your story is. I especially liked the part when Troy's sister uses the tire to save the dog. "She used a tire and tied a rope on the tire. She threw the tire into the Water."

    Question: I would love to know more about Troy's sister. What's her name? How old is she? Is she already driving a car and that's why she's changing the tire?

    Emma

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 10, 2015 at 11:55 AM

    Point: I really love how detailed your story is. I especially liked the part when Troy's sister uses the tire to save the dog. "She used a tire and tied a rope on the tire. She threw the tire into the Water."

    Question: I would love to know more about Troy's sister. What's her name? How old is she? Is she already driving a car and that's why she's changing the tire?

    Emma

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMarch 10, 2015 at 1:51 PM

    Eliza, I like how your story was very clear. I could understand what happened from beginning to end, and I could follow the events of the story very easily. I would like to know more about the dog in the story. Was he a big dog, or a little dog? What did he look like? I love dogs, so I would love to know if my picture in my head looked like the dog you created!

    Jessica W.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMarch 11, 2015 at 5:53 AM

    Point: I liked the sense of adventure throughout the story. Particularly, in this sentence: "She used a tire and tied a rope on the tire."

    Question: What vehicle had a flat tire? What happened to make the tire flat?

    Maggie

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMarch 11, 2015 at 10:41 AM

    Point: I liked when the dog ran after the squirrel and Troy let go of the leash. The same thing happened to me when I was walking my cousin's dog once! "The dog ran after it and Troy let go of the leash."

    Question: What kind of a dog was Troy walking? Was it a big dog, or a little dog?

    Kathryn, NY

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousMarch 12, 2015 at 1:02 PM

    I really like how you you a lot of detail. from Ian

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMarch 12, 2015 at 1:08 PM

    Nice Eliza from Jesus

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  8. AnonymousMarch 12, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    wow! That's a great story. You put really good things in your story like the dog got saved

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousApril 1, 2015 at 10:32 AM

    I liked how you added a happy a happy ending

    From Bibi

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousApril 1, 2015 at 10:34 AM

    I like the sentins Then the dog saw a squirrel. because it sounds awsome


    from cutis

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